We’ve had the pleasure of doing shibari-style bondage with more than a few pregnant woman. Most were close to giving birth (usually weeks)! In this article I like to share the results of my research and experience related to performing shibari-style bondage with a pregnant lady.

Nikki in her 8th month

Pregnant woman have an attraction to men and woman that seems unexplainable (we are not even going to try it in this article). There is talk of a wonderfull glow that a pregnant woman radiates, the beauty of the belly and more. What it is that attracts us men to pregnant woman I really don’t know. I keep it at a primal instinct for protection, related to creating life.

If you have a fetish for the bound female form you just got to love the combination of a big bellied, glowing pregnant woman in ropes.

There is ofcourse a lot to say about safety in this particular situation, common sense is the most important one I think. In no particular order safety issue that relate to tying up a pregnant lady will be discussed.

Communication

Make sure you communicate a lot with your model, MAKE her speak up, you need to know the situation she is in!

In a session with a non-pregnant lady communcation is important, be it verbal, body-language or grunting :). With a pregnant lady, clear communication is strongly advisable. Make her understand, before you start the session, she is supposed to communicate. During the session, don’t let her slip into her own world (i.e. subspace). Expect an answer when you talk to her, stimulate her (i.e. “pain”/erotic impulses) to get the answer. If an answer is not given stop the session and make sure the mother and baby are in a safe position.

OBGYN (OBstetrics and GYNaecology )

There are many dangers in tying a pregnant woman. The information on the dangers and pitfall can be found with the doctors, in this case the obgyn’s. The first thing I would suggest is that you get her obgyn’s approval. This is only applicable with a BDSM-friendly obgyn’s.

If you don’t have a BDSM-friendly obgyn he will tell you, without consideration, it is not healthy to perform bondage’s. If you do have a BDSM-friendly obgyn he will determine, based on the current state of the pregnant lady and the progression of her pregnancy, if what you intent to do is advisable and what to watch out for.

Without the approval of the obgyn it does not have to be the end of it (for nine months!). You could discuss simpeler alternative’s with him until you come to a situation that is still safe.

Abdominals

Depending on the progress of the pregnancy the abdominals of a pregnant woman are going to or already have parted all the way to the outside of the body, so assume she has little to no strength in that area. Do not apply a bondage that makes her have to apply pressure in the abdominal area.

Ofcourse, in normal life she goes to the gym, goes to special pregnancy workouts, etc. There is nothing wrong with mildly working the abdominal. They are worked when sitting down, standing up, walking, etc. The difference here is that these “workouts” of the abdominals are all short contractions of the abdominals and the woman is in control when to stop, when to rest, etc. When she is bound in a position where she has to apply pressure in the abdominal area that pressure will be continues and she has no control. Maybe not even use of her limbs. This can become a dangerous situation when it lasts long enough.

Belly

The obvious thing to watch out for is the belly. The belly is not made of porcelein but do not put pressure on the belly. Depending on the progress of the pregnancy the abdominals could have parted (see previous point) and the only thing protection the live that is growing is skin (and some). A simple comparison, take a ballon with water and apply pressure. You can apply a lot of pressure before the baloon breaks. Human skin is much stronger than a balloon. Continues pressure -should- not cause any problems. Still from a safe and sane viewpoint conciously putting pressure on the belly of a pregant lady does not strike me as safe and most definitly not as sane!

Fluids

A pregnant woman, especially in the last weeks of her pregnancy holds fluids, these fluids will press on nerves and muscles. So even without bondage a pregnant lady often has limbs and body parts that feel “asleep”/numb. That means that any bondage you apply can usually not be too tight and strict, she won’t last 30 seconds in a strict position without losing feeling in her bound limbs.

Communicate with your partner and check often to make sure there is enough circulation and that your partners hands and/or feet are not cold. That is the first sign of lack of blood flow. Make sure no discoloring of the skin takes place (red/blue/black)

Positions

Be careful of the positions you put a pregnant woman in so as not to compromise the mother or child.

  • Avoid putting your partner in a position where she has to work hard and might exhaust herself, she is maintaining two lives and needs her energy. Oxygen will be less available to her, and in the later months of pregnancy the baby will press upwards on the diaphragm, making it harder to breathe deeply. If she’s unable to communicatie your most likely exhausting her.
  • Avoid having your partner motionless for longer periods of time. As a rule of thumb use 5-10 minutes max for a motionless position. By not moving you can decrease the blood flow to the baby.
  • Avoid positions where a fall might occur if things go wrong, this might ruin two lives instead of one.

Joints

The body of a pregnant woman is preparing for delivery, one of the things happening for this is that the body “softens” the connective tissue in joints. This greatly helps the pelvic expansion during giving birth. For us bondage enthusiasts this means the body (joints) of a pregnant woman becomes more flexible. You have to take extra care not to push her as far as her body “seems” to go. This might cause unnecessary strains.

Breasts

The breasts of a pregnant woman are changing, growing. There are milc ducts developing to breast feed the baby after birth. If you tie the breasts, oriental style, make sure you tie either a loose tie or a little above or below the breast (and still not tight!) to avoid damaging the milc ducts.

Hydrating

Always keep water available. The activation of hormones (i.e. endorfines and adrenaline) can make a pregnant woman feel dizzy. Hormones can be activatd through anticipation or apprehension for the upcoming session, stress, and more. When this dizzy feeling occurs keep her hydrated and make sure she stays cool.

Suspensions

This is the most simple one. Suspensions are risky edge play by any standards. With everything that could go wrong with suspension or pregnancies alone, there is no real need to join the two together. It is not worth the risk! Still… with beyond proper communication throughout the entire process…

 

Finally, assume a pregnant lady does not have the knowledge to explain to you what she can or shouldn’t do. She can tell you how she feels but she is not capable to judge her, and the baby’s, well being. Do the research if you are going to tie up a pregnant woman.

Bob
October 2005
updated: Dec. 2014

In this article we’ve skipped the ethics off getting the unborn childs consent for any risk that may be presented to it for your pleasure. We are very aware of this but feel this article is not the place for it.

Disclaimer: I have no medical background whatsoever. I performed more than a few sessions with a pregnant woman with mutual consent. I did my homework and was overly cautious. If you are going to engage in similar activity I suggest you educate yourself and don’t take this article as an absolute.

This article is assembled from discussions I had with different people (Japanese and Western) and from discussions I participated in on different mailing lists.

 

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